Okay..i had already started my 5th semester in unisel.. there were ups and downs..but i still can cope with that..
My marriage.. i had prepared some of the littlest things for my wedding day.. inai, invitation cards, also the photobooth.. the rest..i dont know.. mum wants to aunty mona to take over,, so i will leave it to them ...
Three years.. me and him.. the first year was fun and exciting.. everything was brand new.. so many experience we both had shared.. the second year was when i started my degree... we started to meet each other every 2 or three months at first.. then it lasted for a whole sem.. we were getting further.. but i know my heart nver did..i have always loved and still love him..
My third year.. which also means my third year as a bachelor in civil engineering student.. now.. we really rarely meet..im busy with my studies.. he is busy too..wiith his work and study as well.. we both are..
Recently, he was admitted to the hospital.. only god knows how i really feel.. but i try not to show.. i just dont want anyone to worried about me,, i stayed calm.. i felt bad because i was unable to accompany him the whole week he was admitted.. i guess he felt alone..
I dont blame him.. i know he misses me.. and i miss him even more.. just time and distance has taken us far from each other.. but like i mentioned.. i never stopped pray and hope that he will be better.. also hope that everything will go to normal just like my first year with him..
In just a couple of months.. i will be wed to him.. yes.. but i dont know why.. i dont feel like what im suppose to feel.. all i know for now... i love to daydream... i wonder to myself.. can i be a good wife? can i manage my time to study and my responsibility to be a wife?
I seriously dont know.. whenever i asked him about our 'readiness' to get married.. he will say yes.. and prefer me not to really think about it.. how i can not think about this when this relate my whole life to be with this one guy whom i only know for 3 years?
Then i thought.. i love him.. yes.. its love... when i was in pain..he was always there for me.. when i need comfort.. he lends me his shoulder to cry on.. he's my best friend.. my partner.. my future husband.. isnyaAllah..
Trully i am blessed.. but i just dont want to be too hopeful .. i am afraid of losing...