Tuesday, 1 June 2010
I remember a time, a time in a dream or of a dream life, a time when to live in a world with no strife, a time of no worries, a time of no fights. I would wait him to arrive at my castle, in his automobile, one of three fifty horses, his chariot to be. One of fine velor comfort to sit , in this courtship that was, in this day in the past, of this traveling parlor, one of dark color, a dark horse one might say in this traveling play. We would travel the towns in this fairy tale ride, eating, drinking, and watching the shows of the days' entertainers, loving this life not being a complainer. Not thinking I would be the entertainment of the days future, not thinking the past would have mattered, in this, my life of the tattered.
I look back on this life, many good times I've had with many regrets, as this first love of mine, wishing oh wishing, we could go back in time. Not regretting the times that we spent together, for I look back on them and this makes my heart glad, but still in this life I am left very sad. I wish I had them to do all over again, the times that I've had, the fun I have had, with all of my loves. I wish back then you could have been my husband, what fun we could have had, and what a great life, could have been for us, just you and me, in this land of the free. For then came the day of the breakup. The most tragic and terrible breakup of my life, my first, as what could have been for you and in my heart I know that that's true. For this my heart aches, a terrible pain, one that can only be, is only, my shame.
So now we all share, so more you will make, until the end, your ruling fate. And would this have made me happy, to bring back my family I have longed to see? You know that that would, that is why you could not, because this is with you that you think I have fought. And well I have, for abuse you seek, and where in the hell are all my front teeth? And fight you I will till my dying day, for your values I hate... as my owners to be.
For my true happiness, nor my money to be, could ever bestow the hurt, you have put on me. And all of this time I say it be them that I hate, I can only wonder why their hate for me, has been so great? I Know I have all of this blame for him, for me, for this family tree, for this family name. But I ask again, What have I done to them, What have I done wrong? What have I ever gotten but pain, suffering and torment, heartache and misery, enough to drive me insane....